When you get to a certain age, all birthdays feel like jokes, like the universe is pointing at you and laughing. Before that, it’s all fun and games and you actually look forward to them. Birthdays come every once in a blue moon and they are to be celebrated. As you age, they’re something you want to hide from, run from and preferably beat to a bloody pulp if you can.
Or maybe that’s just me. Anyway, here are some birthday jokes to try and cheer up other grumpy so-and-sos like me.
If you like these birthday jokes then there’s a good chance you will get a kick out of some of our other joke pages, not all of which are made for miserable age haters like myself.
Another reminder of how old I am, because everything except rice gives me heartburn. When you get to a certain age food is not a friend, it’s an enemy that is always trying to screw you over.
Or buy a calendar, because you know, that would be a lot easier and it might end up saving your marriage.
There is borderline racist and then there is just, well, racist, Someone needs to tell our researchers what the line is and then push them back over it, because they have crossed it a few times on this site.
Forget about kale and chia seeds, it turns about that birthdays are the best thing for you. Who knew.
If you make a habit of befriending babies then you’re going to have some angry parents and some very suspicious police officers asking you questions. The free cake really isn’t work it.
But then again the same can be said for vodka, and that doesn’t stop me from downing bottle after bottle until I forget how old I am.
A classic dad joke. I think the reason I am so grumpy is because my dad used to make jokes like this all of the time about me.