Let’s do a section on Dating Jokes, they said. It will be fun, they said. And oh, just one thing, make sure you keep it clean, we know you’re good at that.
I was actually thinking it could be fun until that point, but now I’m wondering if they have ever even met me and actually get who I am. You ever have one of those moments when an old friend sees or hears something and comments, “Ha, that’s totally you!” and you just stand there thinking, “Is it? That doesn’t sound like me. Was he talking to someone else?” Well, now I’m getting those thoughts about the owners of this site.
Anyway, rant over. The good news is that these Dating jokes were compiled by our researchers, who I have been told to refer to as “comic geniuses” for reasons that elude me. However, they left me to write the descriptions, so here goes.
I personally have never had this issue, and not just because I’m unemployed and have never had a girlfriend. Actually, now that I think about it…
I think we need to sack the guy responsible for apostrophes, but first I just want to clarify that “that guy” is not me. I like my job, thank you very much.
The problem with comebacks is that we all know the best ones and we have all thought of a few great ones ourselves, but in the moment, they all fade away and the only thing we have left is, “Yeah? Well, screw you”.
She sounds like a catch, he should totally stick with that one. She’s a gold-digger who starts small. “Never mind your millions and your diamond rings, give me the $3.50 you would have spent on a drink”.
Ouch. Don’t we have a section for Tasteless jokes? Because I think this one belongs there. The guy responsible for apostrophes clearly has other issues as well. And judging by that sexist comment, I’m wondering if the owners didn’t just hire my uncle.
Finish on a high, they said, but nobody told this guy. I’m not even sure I get this joke. In fact, I am sure, I don’t get it. Is this a “hell freezes over” thing? Or was this just the worst comeback ever. I’m confused.