Marriage feels like a joke from the outset. You decide to spend your life with someone that you love, even though you know that you will eventually tire of their presence and that you hate their family. You then spend all of the money you have on making this wedded agreement, before spending your married life in debt because of it.
But, it’s tradition and it’s triggered by that human emotion that we all have and can’t hide from. These marriage jokes will hopefully make things easier, because if you can’t enjoy something then you can least laugh about how tragic it is.
Some marriages do work and some people will love or tolerate each other for as long as they live. But let’s be honest, eternal and everlasting love is not funny. It’s also not something I can rant bitterly about, so I’m not interested.
If you like these marriage jokes, be sure to checkout our Wife Jokes, Parenting Jokes and Husband Jokes. Pick a side and mock the others, that’s how humor works most of the time. It’s also how wars begin…which brings us back to the subject of marriage.
This joke was clearly told by a Baby Boomer and it a little (or a lot) sexist. But, what did you expect?
At least this one applies to both sexes, even though many clueless husbands will probably think it only applies to them.
See, not all of our jokes come from the 1950s.
A marriage really is like a war, and that’s not just something that tired old comedians say. If you have been in a long-term relationship you will appreciate just how true this is. You are always looking to get the better of each other and it is usually measured by who has the most “I told you so’s”. Ever since the dawn of Google the intensity of these wars have increased, with more shots being fired all over the world.
And make sure you never cheat on her in her dreams. I don’t know how to actually stop this from happening, and believe me I have tried, but for a few hours in the morning following that dream she will treat you like the cheating scum her dreams told her you were.