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Pet Jokes

We are huge pet lovers here on The Best Jokes and are never averse to the occasional one-liner about cats, dogs and all of the other of God’s creatures.

We have covered many such jokes in the past (be sure to checkout our Jokes About Cats and One-Liners on Dogs when you’ve finished here) but there is still plenty of room for fun jokes about the animal kingdom.

So, read on for some great laughs about our furry friends.


Funny Pet Jokes

My first thought was that this was a bit random and that there was nothing wrong with hailing taxi cabs, unless you were doing it in the winter in New York, in which case there is everything wrong with it. Eventually, it clicked, the joke landed and I felt a little stupid. But at least I’m happy to admit my stupidity to you nice folks. Now…please don’t mock me for it.


Funny Pet Joke

A great advantage on games like Dark Souls, where you need as many lives as you can get. Less so on games like Grand Theft Auto, where you can be shot at close range with  bazooka and then run over by a tank and you’ll still be fixed-up in a few seconds by the experts at the local GTA hospital. All it takes is a fade-to-black and a few virtual dollars and you’re good to go.

Really, when you think about it, parents should be complaining less about GTA warping the minds of their children by showing them that violence and sexism is okay, and more worried about how it is affecting their views on the American healthcare system.


Free Pet Jokes

Laugh away, but you’ll be sorry when that leopard can’t catch any prey because he’s always spotted and he eventually dies alone, hungry and miserable.


Pet Jokes Picture

What’s New Pussycat is also the song that all trendy cats like best, while the hip ones presumably like Cool for Cats. Me, I prefer Creep by Radiohead. Make of hat what you will.


Best Pet Jokes

You can just imagine the kitty cat trying to convince the poor mouse that the game will be fun and perfectly safe, missing out the part where it ends with the cat swallowing them whole and then regurgitating a random mouse organ, because apparently they can eat everything clean and easy, but can’t manage that final chunk of offal that inevitably ends up on your living room carpet.


Very Funny Pet Joke

I’m not even going to comment on that one. Not worth it.


Short Pet Jokes

And if you like this, then you’re either very young or very simple. If it’s the first, checkout our Jokes for Kids. If it’s the second…get help.


Long Pet Jokes

If you think that dogs are terrible dances then you have clearly never seen the sort of Youtube video that I watch when I should be working. Seriously, look at this guy and tell me dogs don’t know how to dance. He’s practically twerking!


LOL Pet Jokes

Do cowboys have dogs? Now that I think about it, that’s one thing I have never seen in Wild West films. There’s no punchline, I’m just genuinely curious.


Hilarious Pet Jokes

I think “Steak” would be a more realistic nickname, unfortunately for the poor cow. Such is the way of things though and I think I’ll end it right here to stop dragging this article into a dark place.

Look! A cute kid holding an umbrella over a chilled-out cow!