The Best Joke Site on the Web (Probably)

Joke Quotes

Here it is, a page where we let the experts take over, some of which are more deserving of that status than others. These joke quotes have been plucked from America’s best and most popular (which often means the worst) comedians, including comic masterminds like Robin Williams and…several other people who deserve nowhere near as much praise as the late great.

Joke Quotes from Top Comedians

If you think that there is a great comedian joke quote that we missed, be sure to give us a nudge and let us know. We’re happy to hear them all, providing they’re not from Adam Sandler. Come on, one is enough.

#1

Funny Quote Jokes

You can tell this is an old joke, because these days no one treats politicians as a joke. I mean, look at Donald Trump…

Wait…

#2

Funny Quote Joke

I’m convinced that old-school female comedians only made jokes about gold digging wives and men with small penises. Then again, old-school male comedians only made jokes about their mother-in-laws, so maybe they had more variety.

#3

Free Quote Jokes

I still do.

#4

Quote Jokes Picture

He’s clearly never tried crack. Then again, it’s Adam Sandler, crack is one of the few things that could explain some of the atrocious films he has made over the years. If only all of his jokes were as funny as this quote. You were great in the Waterboy, 50 First Dates and a couple other mediocre films too ancient to remember, but everything else was terrible Mr. Sandler.

He basically stopped making films and started taking his friends on holidays and asking a film crew to follow him. It would explain why every recent film of his seems to be set in some tropical paradise.

#5

Best Quote Jokes

In my experience, if she tells you her age at all then you’ve made a giant leap into unknown territory.

#6

Very Funny Quote Joke

And you should definitely not wear pants that say “Juicy” on the ass. That applies as much to those who have pear-shaped bodies as it does to any other self-respecting human.

#7

Short Quote Jokes

Because everyone is rushing to get nowhere. Such is life. By the way, Robin Williams was a legend. Nothing funny about that, just needs to be said.

#8

Long Quote Jokes

Or maybe hell is growing up thinking Jim Carrey was a comedy genius and then watching him turn into an eccentric weirdo who married an insane person and slowly turned into one of his old characters, albeit within the humor.

#9

LOL Quote Jokes

I can’t fault that logic, but only because I’m too tired to comprehend it.

#10

Hilarious Quote Jokes

To everyone who thought Bush was a terrible president and a joke of a man, I bet he looks like a genius now. Just when you think it can’t get any worse for as long as you live, someone plays the Trump card.