With all that diving, play-acting and back-page BS, soccer jokes are not hard to come by. In fact, you cold argue that many players that make those headlines are worthy enough of being called a “soccer joke”.
But it’s not the players that we’re focusing on here but the game itself. Sure, those over-paid and undereducated players will crop up from time to time, but mockery aside, we have a lot of respect for them.
After all, if they didn’t exist then who else would entertain us? Sure, we still have football, golf and God knows what else, but soccer is the biggest sport in the world for a reason and that’s because we just can’t get enough of it.
If you like these soccer jokes be sure to checkout our other top joke pages (Clean Jokes, Military Jokes), which you can see listed throughout The Best Jokes. You can also submit your own jokes about soccer to us, with details on how to do just that found throughout this site. Just make sure you send us actual jokes. One of the first submissions we received came with the subject line “The Ultimate Soccer Joke” and the content simply read “Arsenal FC”.
We can only assume they were Spurs fans.
I know what you’re thinking, How dare we make jokes out of guys that clearly put it all on the line every week purely for our entertainment? Ah, who are we kidding. That’s clearly not what you’re thinking. Let’s be honest, they get paid to kick a ball around a field and sleep with big-breasted glamor models. They work for 90 minutes a week and they spend that time spitting and then diving in said spit when they score a goal or launch into a full-footed assault on their fellow over-paid, mucous expelling, model-sexing opponent.
Not like we’re jealous or anything. We’re perfectly happy with our jobs. Sitting in front of a computers all day, eating Cheetos and watching Murder She Wrote marathons is what we always wanted to do. And we do it very well, thank you.