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Wife Jokes

We have to warn you in advance, there is probably going to be some sexism here. After all, wife jokes tend to be written by their husbands and many of them sound like they come from the joke book of a 1960s comedian.

Don’t worry though, because we have plenty of sections where women can get their own back. Take a look at our Husband Jokes section if you’re sick and tired of men mocking their spouses and want to turn the tables on them.

Wife Jokes


Funny Wife Jokes

I can’t comment because I am married and there is a good chance my wife will leave me if I agree with this. So, let’s just say that this has happened to a friend of mine, but my wife happens to be perfectly rational and sane and has never done anything like this…


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Sound logic. I think I will use it myself sometime. If only it worked the other way around.


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The fact that he calls it a “sport” means he gets all that he deserves. It implies he gets a kick out of it, in which case, I hope she tears him a new one every time he’s stupid enough to open his mouth.


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Ouch. Poor dude.


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You laugh, but this actually happened to my mother once. Someone phoned her on Christmas day to wish her well and not wanting to sound rude, she returned the favor. The woman on the other end of the phone asked how she was, received a reply, and then began explaining what had happened to her, how her health had improved, how her husband had gotten a new job, etc., etc.,

After half an hour of my mother assuming she knew who she was talking to but couldn’t place her voice, and the other woman assuming she was talking to the person she thought she dialed, the two of them finally realized. Sill, they remained on the phone for another 30 minutes and they became close friends after that.


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A husband who loves chocolate more than his wife? Way to flip those stereotypes, although I suspect our researchers have just flipped the joke out of laziness. I wouldn’t be surprised if I found the same joke reversed over on our Husband Jokes page (linked above).


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