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Winter Jokes

Winter doesn’t have much going for it. It’s cold, it’s wet and it’s miserable. If you live in the northern hemisphere then it is saved by Christmas and New Year, two days in which everyone tries to forget the misery of winter by getting blind drunk and arguing with friends and family. But even then, it’s still a miserable time of year that you only look forward to if you are too young to know any better.

It’s winter now as we write these jokes about winter, so if it’s also the coldest and most depressing season as you read this, then rejoice, because we’re about to bring a smile to your frozen, chapped lips. If this is not quite your thing, check with our jokes about summer instead.

Winter Jokes


Funny Winter Jokes

Yeah, it was the snowman, definitely. “Don’t worry mom, I didn’t wet the bed and I didn’t have one of those naughty dreams again, I just wet to sleep cuddling a snowman and now the remnants of his corpse are all over the sheets.”

I just can’t see that one working.


Funny Winter Joke


Free Winter Jokes

The fact that this is technically true makes it a little less stupid, but there is still an element of great stupidity there.


Winter Jokes Picture

Also what you get when your friend, who can’t tell the time and is incredibly docile, promises to pick you up outside the pub at 9pm, only to arrive three hours later when you’re too cold too talk but just warm enough to rip his vacant smile off his annoying little face.

Maybe that’s just me.


Best Winter Jokes


Very Funny Winter Joke

I imagine that there are a couple of other differences as well.


Short Winter Jokes

More importantly, what does a snowman buy with his money?

There is no punchline, I’m genuinely interested in finding out. I mean, a new coat and anything electric is out of the question and I can’t imagine he will be able to use an iPhone without getting water all over it. New carrot maybe?


Long Winter Jokes

Funny, just a shame the wife doesn’t understand tense.


LOL Winter Jokes


Hilarious Winter Jokes

This is screaming out for a witty comment about a bird-related airline, but I’m tired, cold and it’s been a long day. You’ve had enough jokes.